"I imagine it's hard to know what to do with these emotions you feel. I mean, I'm sure you don't want to be mad at God, right?"
"Oh, I have no problem at all being angry with God."
"Really? But what does that teach your children? They are just growing the seeds of their faith, and aren't you afraid that you're teaching them the wrong things?"
I paused, thinking of the magnitude of the answer, the magnitude of the calling.
"You know, I think that's exactly what I want my children to learn from this: that God can handle anything they feel.
If God is,
and if he is the Creator and Sustainer of life,
then he is bigger than life,
and he can handle our response
to anything life hands us.
God can handle our anger, but life cannot. If I get angry and hurt a friend, I may not get to keep that friend. If I break something, I no longer get to have it. If I do something to hurt myself or others, there are consequences. Real, tangible, painful consequences.
I am trying to teach them that we get to keep God, no matter how angry we are at him.
We were dealt a bad hand, kiddos.
But there will still be breakfast on the table tomorrow.
And I will still get you to school on time.
I will make sure you have clean clothes to wear.
And I will kiss you good night at the end of every single day.
I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with God. He can handle it. He's really the only one who can handle an anger that runs this deep."
5 comments:
Amen, Sweet-Far-Away-Unmet (Yet)-Friend. I hear you so loud and clear. BIIIIGGGG hugs across cyberspace. They won't make the anger go away, but they leave seeds of His love to keep the anger from growing out of bounds...I think...
Anne
Yes, indeed, we can bring it all to God and let it all out -- in fact, I believe that's what He wants.
I remember hearing Larry Crabb once, talking about his anger when his dad died. Crabb said he went onto his back deck one night and just let God have it, shouting all his frustration. Crabb said something like, "When God didn't yell back, I knew I could trust Him."
Yes, Tricia, He can handle it. No truer words were ever spoken.
Friends come and go, walls change, things sometimes get broken, but God can handle our anger - and amazingly LOVES us through it. (This is from many years of experience.)
Anger at God is all over the scriptures. After we lost our ministry, all our friends and then my sister my anger towards God was large -- not because I thought he brought it all upon me, but I wanted to know NOW what good could come out of the ashes. "Now Lord! Show me NOW!"
I love the psalm where David tells God to bash the Babylonian's babies heads against the rocks. He was so mad at what was coming, so mad at the injustice that he would ask for an innocent child's life -- and then ask for forgiveness later. Now THAT is trust.
Anyway, I so feel what you are saying. Our anger repressed is what leads to bitterness. Taken to the God we are learning to trust leads us to life.
You go Mom.
I thought of you when I read this post by John Piper. I think it may be helpful in sorting out angry feelings (which are understandable)
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/taste-see-articles/is-it-ever-right-to-be-angry-at-god
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