Betrothed

On Monday, December 20, I sat quietly in my favorite coffee shop. I had several writing deadlines to meet before Christmas, but I find that my writing is always much more focused and productive when I read my Bible to begin. I read Hosea 2:19-20.

I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you
in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion.
I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the Lord.

'Read' is a loose word for what happened in my mind. I pored over, meditated, absorbed. My mind would not allow me to leave these verses. I was intrigued by the promise of betrothal, of being engaged.

I thought of when Robb and I were engaged, when we were betrothed to be married. There was a sparkly diamond on my hand, and I was in love with this man. I couldn't get enough of him. We planned our days around our time together; we hungered for one another. He was my priority. I honored his time and his name. I honored him. I was his betrothed. I couldn't get enough of him.

That is Betrothed.

And yet, I thought, if I am the bride of Christ, and I know undoubtedly that I am, then why do I not chase after his love the same way?

As I thought, I was further intrigued by the promises within the bethrothal: in righteousness, justice, love, compassion, and faithfulness. And quite suddenly, I needed to write. Not for other people, but I needed to write for me. I had deadlines to meet, people waiting for polished, finished words. But they must wait. I needed to write.

This happens sometimes to writers: this overwhelming, screaming need to write. It's like an itch. One must scratch it.

I didn't know what words would flow from my pen, but I simply knew they were begging to breathe. I picked up my journal and my favorite pen, and without revision, careful intention, or pause, and the following stanza flowed.

~ ~ ~

I am betrothed to the Lord forever.
I am betrothed in righteousness,
for he has made me holy and whole.
I am betrothed in justice,
for he will create me as he intended.
I am betrothed in love,
for he holds me in his heart.
I am betrothed in compassion,
for his eyes look gently upon me.
I am betrothed in faithfulness,
for he never lets me go.

I will acknowledge the Lord.

~ ~ ~

In one fluid breath, I wrote.

And then I held my breath, nearly stunned with a holy, sacred awareness. These words were not mine; they simply flowed through me, a vessel. And yet, there they were, in my handwriting.

Betrothed. In that moment, I could not know how God was preparing my heart.

And in the days to come, as words find me, I will tell you the other pieces my God placed in my hand as he prepared my steps into this valley.

I wrote these words, and they sang me to sleep. Three days later, my sweet husband - my betrothed - slipped from my hands.

But these words were written on my heart, just days before.

I am betrothed to the Lord, forever.

I will acknowledge the Lord.