Who do I write for?
Is it for you? The invisible you, who might read it?
Is it for me? The tangible me that spills and wants the page to catch me?
Is it for the therapy of sorting the words, stringing them together, emptying my mind, pouring out my heart?
Is it about the writing? Is it about the posting? Is it about the reading?
Writers write to be read.
Do not painters paint so their work may encourage and inspire?
Do not inventors create to solve a problem, perhaps not just their own?
Writers write to be read.
Is that okay? Is it permissible? Is it humble?
It's messy.
Life is happening around me. I do not write to suspend it; I write to experience it.
If I write in a stagnant place, pre-December 2010, my heart will grow weary. My writing will grow stale. I cannot pretend it is as it was. And yet I long to remember.
If I write only in the future, in the happiness of what I hope for, if I pretend I have arrived there and found purpose in this mess, then I'm not honest. And yet I long to hope.
Dishonesty benefits nobody. Questions are real.
If I write today with a sprinkling of my yesterday and my tomorrow, perhaps I've found the beginning of balance.
And so I write.
***
"Don't look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance." ~ Anne Lamott
4 comments:
I could not have said it so well myself, but I absolutely agree! :-)
I am one of your anonymous readers, brought to your site because a friend of a friend referred to a recipe you had made. Never found the recipe but I found your voice..your writing has made me weep, smile, feel encouraged and weirdly enough make me want you give you a hug now and then.. to say you are not alone. Keep writing.. you have a beautiful gift! Tracey
Hi Tricia, I'm another anonymous reader. I found your blog when someone recommended it on Moody's Mid-Day Connection FB page. It's a small world: I'm from northeast Ohio, we're the same age, and several of my college friends worked summers at Camp Carl, so we probably know some of the same people. :) But I just wanted to let you know what an encouragement your blog is as you write so honestly about your journey. God bless you, friend: you are teaching all of us how to suffer well. I pray for you often and look forward to your posts. And I must say, as a side note, it's extremely refreshing to read a blog that doesn't contain a plethora of typos! :)
Hi, Tricia, I'm another anonymous reader. I found your blog when someone recommended it on Moody's Midday Connection FB page. It's a small world: I live in northeast Ohio, we're the same age, and I have friends who worked summers at Camp Carl, so we probably a few of the same people. :) Anyway, I just wanted to thank you. Your honest commentary about your journey is such an encouragement. God bless you, friend: you are showing all of us how to suffer well. I pray for you often and look forward to your posts. And I must say, it is extremely refreshing to read a blog that doesn't contain a plethora of typos! :) :) :) Amy
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