I Swore I'd Never Do That.

The following is a growing list of things I swore I would never do as a mother, and yet I watch in utter disbelief as I do them:

• I was never going to have to chase my child when he did not come to me. I was not going to chase him down, as he walked backwards away from me in the grocery store or mall, with a mischievous grin on his face, of all things.
• I was never going to bribe my child to do things that he should do anyway (i.e., I was certainly not going to give him an M&M for getting into his carseat or a cookie to avoid a tantrum in the grocery store.).
• I was never going to let my child watch more than 30 minutes of TV a day, and never would I park him in front of the TV so I could do something else. Like take a shower before Daddy gets home from work.
• I was never going to wrestle anything out of my son's hand. I was going to teach him to obey the first time I asked, to gently place the debatable item in my hand. I was not going to have to learn and master WWF moves to get that blasted cell phone, remote control, or permanent marker out of his sweaty little fingers.
• I was never going to let my child do unkind things to the dog, such as riding her like a horse.
• I was never going to introduce my child to a habit that might become an addiction he would have to break: a pacifier.
• I was never going to put the pacifier back in my baby's mouth after it had fallen on the germ-infested floor.
• I was never going to allow my toddler to steal the pacifier from his sleeping brother's mouth.
• I was never going to let my children share germs, such as when my toddler put his brother's pacifier in his mouth.

Yeah. Right.

Perhaps I should go ahead and make a list of the things I still intend to never do in the future. That way, as they grow, I can simply write the date when I watched myself commit another atrocity, despite my best laid plans.

"I was a really good mom before I had kids." ~ Trisha Ashworth