Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Waiting for Goodbye

I am in Ohio right now, waiting for my grandmother to be with the Lord.

She has been ill with Parkinson's Disease for many years, and she has been going further downhill for about the last eight months. Near the end of my pregnancy with Tyler, we thought she was going to go at any time - so much so that I worried I wouldn't get to be here for her funeral, since I would be far too pregnant to fly safely. But Tyler is here, and Grams still is, too.

Her Hospice care workers alerted us yesterday that any family from out of state should come right away, since she was showing all the signs of the final hours. We scrambled to get here right away, in hopes that my mom could see her mother once more. We made it in time, and Grams is still alive, although just barely. She is only breathing 4-5 times a minute. Soon that will slow to just 1-2, and finally she will stop all together.

I want her to go to heaven, tonight. I really do. Even this minute. We have all said our goodbyes in every way that we can, and we have all given her permission to go. It's time.

My mom, my boys, and I are biding our time. Once she passes, everything will pick up and there will be a whirlwind of activity, with family coming into town, calling hours, funeral, and everything that entails. But until she goes, we are waiting. We have said our goodbyes, but we are waiting for her to say her own farewell.

For those of you who are reading this and are wondering how to pray, can you please ask God to take her home? It's time.

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