Me: Tucker, do you know I have a mommy?
T: No. [With a budding smile, since he clearly thinks it's both absurd and fascinating that someone may have parented me.]
M: I do. Do you know who it is?
M: It's Grandma. Grandma is my mommy.
T: [Gasp.] Dramma?!
M: Yes. And I have a daddy. Do you know who my dad is?
T: No! [How is it possible that I could have two parents?]
M: It's Poppa. Poppa is my dad.
T: Poppa! [How about that?!]
M: And, I am married. Who am I married to?
M: No, not Ohio. Somebody is my husband. Who is it?
M: No, that's my name. Who is my husband?
M: It's Daddy. I'm married to Daddy.
T: [Gasp. This is all apparently so alarming to him.] Daddy?!
M: Yes. It's Daddy. And I have a brother. Who is my brother?
M: No, Tyler is your brother. Who is my brother?
M: No, Mason is Reece's brother. (Tucker and Tyler's best friends are Reece and Mason. Clearly, if Mason is somebody's brother, then he must be mine too.) My brother is Uncle Rob.
T: [Gasp.] Uncle Rob?? I love Uncle Rob! He's my favorite!
M: I know you do. I love him, too. He's my brother.
(It suddenly occurs to Tuck that I must have had the most fun childhood ever, if Uncle Rob is my brother. He's beaming in the backseat.)
I should have let it go, on that happy note. But no, ever the teacher in pursuit of long term comprehension, I decided to review.
M: Who is my husband, Tuck?
M: Who is my mommy?
M: Who is my daddy?
T: Uncle Rob.
M: Who is my brother?
T: Tyler. No, Mason.
Um, no. No, no, and no. We'll keep working on it.