Me: Tucker, nobody likes to be licked. Please keep your tongue in your mouth. Always.
Tuck: But I like to lick Poppa.
Me: Poppa doesn't like to be licked. Neither does anyone else. You may lick lollipops and popsicles.
Tuck: And your shorts.
Me: No. Lollipops. Popsicles. That's it.
Tuck: And your pants.
Good heavens.
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