I often pick up my phone to shoot him a quick text, just to tell him something that happened today. We texted often - especially when he traveled. It was our direct hotline. A hard one for me to let go.
I wanted to tell him about the new Mac, how great it really, truly is. I wanted to show him the new haircut I got yesterday. Sometimes I want to ask him a question... "What's the password to this online something or other? How do I fix this Transformer again? Can you tell me where to find the pliers?"
Sometimes I want to tell him how generous people are, how they care for me, how I somehow find strength and encouragement even in his absence. Sometimes I want to tell him I miss him, and sometimes I want to tell him how much other people miss him too.
I want to tell him that Tyler's preschool class is learning about space and planets. Tyler has quite an affinity for this topic, filling us in on new facts every night at dinner. Robb's secret aspiration was to be an astronaut, and I know he and Tyler would have explored this topic to great lengths.
I want to tell him that Tucker has many new friends, and he's getting really good at writing his name. That's he's starting to tell knock-knock jokes, and he's not so good at them yet. I want to tell him I registered Tuck for soccer this spring, just like we planned.
Sometimes I wonder what Robb did today.
Maybe he spent the day running, playing with our two children who got there before we did. Maybe he sang our favorite bedtime songs to them.
Maybe he said "Let me tell you about your Mommy. Man, she loves you. You look quite a bit like her."
Maybe he wrestled with Andrew, or maybe he's spinning Grayson in the air. Maybe he understands the mysteries we couldn't grasp as we grieved for their parents as these babies left their arms.
Maybe he met the many people whose namesake he carried.
Maybe he sat with my two grandmothers. Maybe they took a long walk together.
I bet my grandpa made him laugh. My uncle probably did too. Those men made everyone laugh; Robb often said he couldn't wait to meet them.
Maybe he feasted on the richest of fare, foods and treasures beyond my imagination.
Maybe he talked with Abraham or Moses. Maybe he talked with his personal favorite, Joshua, or my personal favorites, Mary and Peter.
Maybe he told David, "My wife is a big fan of your writing."
Maybe Job told him, "Hey, Robb? She'll be okay. Here's how I know."
And maybe he spent the day with Jesus. I bet they laughed. That's my favorite way to picture Jesus. I bet his laugh is rich and full, contagious and melodic.
Maybe Robb missed me today.
I would just love to ask him. "Hey, babe? How was your day?"