Monday, November 5, 2007

Amazing Race 12

The Amazing Race started last night, so you need not wonder where I will be every Sunday night for the next many weeks. I am a very devoted fan to The Amazing Race, and I live vicariously through their adventures every season, imagining which challenges I would take, which ones I would leave to my teammate, and which teams I could take out.

If I were a contestant on The Amazing Race, I would choose my husband for my teammate. He is amazing with maps and directions, he can stealthily navigate through any airport, he's a great strategist, and he is a great competitor. Plus, I think it would be so much fun to see the world with him.

I say this with the full knowledge that my husband, although he loves me, would not choose me for his teammate for The Amazing Race.

The reasons are many. While he is great at all of the previously mentioned skills, I am not.

He would wisely choose someone else as his traveling companion for the following reasons, among others:

Although he has called me his "navigator" ever since we were dating, he no longer hands me a map when he's driving and we're searching for our destination. I am not a map girl. Write down the directions with words, and I'm set. But if you draw a map, or if you hand me a published one folded like origami, forget it. We might as well go home.

Robb travels often with business, and he can easily maneuver his way around any airport. Guaranteed. I, on the other hand, usually follow behind him, smiling at strangers and chatting with fellow travelers. I have traveled a few times without him, and one of those times has gone down in infamy... my mom and I were so busy chatting about, well, whatever we wanted, that we casually strolled past our gate three times (picture it: that's back and forth, back and forth, back and forth) before we actually stopped talking long enough to get to the right spot. (We said we weren't going to tell anybody about that... sorry, Mom.)

Robb is a great strategist; just play one card game with him, and you'll see what I mean. He can account for every single card, including the ones I have held tightly in my hand from the start of the game. He'll say, "You should play that Ace of Spades you've been hiding." And I'll say, with sincerity, "What? Whose turn is it?"

Lastly, Robb is a great competitor, always with his eye on the win. I am not this way. I do not have a competitive bone in my body. If we competed in The Amazing Race together, we would have a conversation something like this, probably on a daily basis:

Robb: This pit stop is almost over. We need to get up, get out, and get a head start so we can get ahead of the other teams.

Tricia: Yep. You're right. And speaking of the other teams, I had such a fun conversation last night with that couple from Nebraska. You would really like them.... In fact, I told them we would wait for them this morning.

Robb: What?!? No. No, we are not waiting for another team. They were the last to arrive, Tricia. They don't get to leave for another 12 hours.

Tricia: Right, but don't you think it would be fun to travel with them? I told them we would save them a seat on the train. And, I told them our whole strategy for the next leg of the race. I thought they would find it helpful. I told them we would call them a cab so they don't have to walk so far. They're just so fun. Maybe we can play cards with them at the next pit stop.

I would forever be interested in letting others go in front of us, all in the name of friendship and "fun couples."

I do realize that this email doesn't particularly shine the best light on me, but all of these things are nonetheless true.

I holdfast to my plan: Robb would be my partner, my ticket to the million dollars.

And if you asked him right now, he would holdfast to his own plan: "Not a chance would I want to run in The Amazing Race with my wife."

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