No Med Students, Please.

I took Tuck to the doctor today, in search of some answers for this lingering cough. He saw an audiologist this morning (as part of his quest toward language), and she was not able to do an accurate hearing test because of some fluid in his ear. She suggested we see a doctor, since the fluid could be an ear infection that stemmed from the incessant cough.

So off we went to the doctor.

Now, let me say, I am all for med students, in general. And, I am all about a positive learning environment to equip anyone to become better at what they do; I am, after all, a teacher.

But, as it turns out, I am not all-in-favor of a med student to examine my son. Particularly this one, whom I met today. And, I'm learning, it's also important to me that the medical professional be older than me. They may get harder to find as I get older, but since I'm only 28, I would prefer to see a doctor who is at least 30. Call me crazy.

For the sake of anonymity, and his future career, we will simply call him Med Student.

He comes into the room, and he gave me a weak, dead-fish handshake. Not a great start.

Med Student: "Well, what's going on with Tucker today? Are his ears hurting?"

Me: "Actually, no, I don't think so. He hasn't been pulling on them or complaining, but he has this cough that's been here for about 3 weeks, and I'm wondering if there might be some fluid in there."

Med Student: "Has he been sick?"

Me: "No, just the cough that won't go away."

Med Student: "Has he had a fever?"

Me: "No."

Med Student: "Has he seemed tired?"

Me: "No, just the cough. That's really the only thing."

Med Student: "So you say he has a cough?"

Me: "Yes. He's had it for about 3 weeks."

Med Student: "How long he has had the cough? About a week?"

Are you kidding me??

Me: "No, three weeks."

Med Student: "Right. You said that. Sorry." He writes it down and speaks aloud: "Coughing... for... two... weeks."

Me: "Three weeks."

Med Student: "Oh, right. Let's take a look."

He peeks in Tucker's ear, only to decide he needs to get the doctor to take a look.

Med Student: "I'll just get the doctor."

Me: "Sure." (What I'm really thinking is, "Yes, you do that. Run along. Get the doctor, please.")

For your mental picture, let me add that he was wearing dress pants and white sport socks (the kind that don't even cover his ankle, but are meant to barely cover his foot inside the shoe), and here's the kicker: as he was leaving, I saw a flash of black boxers with orange flames on them poking from the top of his waistband.

Please. I'm pretty sure that's not on the list of appropriate dress code. Wear whatever underwear you want, but please don't let the mother of your patient see it. Especially if it has flames on it.

He brought a doctor back with him, a man whom I know and trust. Dr. H finished the exam, and the best news is there's no infection. I still had to fork up the copay for no new diagnosis, but that's better than letting an ear infection fester in there without my knowledge.

And the Med Student and I parted ways. I am thinking of sending a note to the doctor's office, with a pre-written post-it for them to stick on our family file:

Please do not allow these children to be examined by the following:

Anyone Under the Age of 30.

Anyone who aks questions but does not listen to the mother's answers.

Anyone who dresses less than professionally.

Anyone whose underwear is showing.

Thank you.