Monday, November 12, 2007

Evidence that I'm a Mom

There are lots of things I have started doing within the last two years that I never did before, in my pre-mommy life. Here are a few bits of evidence to show that I am, indeed, a Mom:

~ I pick my son's nose, with or without a kleenex.

~ I have been known to flip my child nearly upside down or hold his bottom up to my face, all in an effort to determine if he has a messy diaper. There's no method quite so accurate as the Smell Test to make sure.

~ There is usually a hot wheel of some kind in my purse.

~ There is usually bodily fluid of some kind on my shirt.

~ I don't flinch at all when the shower curtain flies open while I'm taking a shower. It's usually my two-year-old, just checking to make sure I'm close by.

~ I have been known to change the lyrics to any tune, to sing all about my children and their daily routines.

~ I stockpile napkins in the glovebox of my car.

~ I may have a panic attack if I have left the house without at least two diapers of each child's size somewhere on my person.

~ I can do deep-knee bends with a 30-lb two-year-old on my shoulders.

~ The songs that most frequently come to my mind are no longer from the Top 40... they are from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

~ I have discovered the all-purpose benefits of carrying wet wipes, even to Mom's Night Out.

~ I have my Pediatrician on speed dial.

~ I narrate everything I do, often with sign language.

I could go on... there are probably more chapters to come on this topic. Stay tuned.

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