Friday, January 21, 2011

Thinking Out Loud

"Grandma, I dreamed about Daddy. I dreamed he came back."

"Well, Tyler, that sounds like a very nice dream. Did he play with you?"

"He was getting ready for a trip. And he gave me a big hug."

"That sounds like your daddy."

"Grandma, did Daddy get any presents for Christmas? 'Cause he didn't get our presents."

"Oh, I'm sure he did."

(Joyful gasp.) "What did he get?!"

"Well, I don't know, but I know God loves to give gifts. So I'm sure Daddy got something wonderful for Christmas."

Silence.

"Grandma, is Daddy still sick?"

"No, Sweet Pea. Daddy is all better now."

(Joyful gasp.) "So he can come back!!"

"No, buddy, I'm sorry. Once someone goes to heaven, they stay there. He's not coming back."

"So he's living in the house Jesus is building for us?"

"He sure is."

Silence.

"Grandma, when Mommy dies, will you and Poppa take care of me?"

"Oh, Tyler, Mommy will take care of your herself. Mommy isn't sick. She's not going to die anytime soon."

Suddenly, his voice became very serious.

"Grandma. When Mommy gets sick, will you and Poppa let me come live with you?"

Mom realized the true question at hand: not whether or not Mommy will die, but whether or not Tyler will be loved and cared for if he loses the one parent he has left.

"Yes, honey. We sure will. And you have so many people who love you who would step right in if you needed them. You'll never have to worry about that."

Silence.

"Grandma? Does Daddy watch me?"

"Maybe he does."

"I don't think he's watching right now."

"Okay. Maybe not right now."

(I think Tyler would like to pick and choose what Daddy gets to see.)

"Grandma?"

"Yes?"

"I think I need new mittens."

And that's that. Every once in a while, he lets us inside his sweet little mind that's working so hard to make sense of a tragic mess. And just as quickly, he moves on to other things.

Oh, the resilient minds of my children.

God, may it ever be so.

5 comments:

DenverSop said...

What a wise and insightful child! I love his question about the house Jesus is building for us. He is so fortunate that his family is really recognizing and addressing his needs and fears as they come, even as you grieve alongside him.

Still praying all the time for you!

Terry said...

god bless the day that you and robb instilled into tyler's heart the truth that god is building a house for you and them ..a house now occupied by three precious family members...robb and the two babies...god bless you dear tricia.
when the lord was picking a mom and dad for tyler and tuck...he did a perfect job...with love terry

The Kennedy Krew said...

What a sweet honest conversation! And what a blessing that he is so loved by so many! However, I'm going to continue to pray strength and health for his mother for a VERY VERY long time!! I love you so much!!!

Kay Day said...

Such a wise boy. He's blessed to be surrounded by wise and insightful adults.

Seda said...

Thank you for writing. You are lifted up in my prayers everyday. Thank you for helping me to see a little better, and be grateful for the goodness of our Lord in all things.
p/s I have two little boys of my own. It is very difficult to get through your posts without crying. :*)