Thursday, April 14, 2011

Best Surprise

I planned a great afternoon for the boys. Lunch at their favorite spot, then an afternoon jumping on inflatables, followed by milkshakes. Lots of face time. Lots of fun, laughter, and us.

I put on my game face. I told myself, no sadness today. Put it behind you. Show them your joy so they can find theirs. Joy. Claim it. It's yours.

Happy Mom. Come on, Tricia. No sadness today.

I picked them up from preschool with a spring in my step, eager for our fun afternoon of rejuvenating togetherness.

I said, "Guys! I have the very best surprise for you!"

Tucker's face lit up.

"Oh, Mommy! Is my Daddy alive again?"

Oh. Oh, my. My stomach fell; my chest ached.

"No, sugar. But that would sure be a great surprise."

And suddenly, my plans for us mattered not. Because it wasn't Daddy.

I get that, my little guys.

It's hard to make it matter, when it just isn't Daddy.


gluten free girl in a pasta world said... so sorry. my hope is, one day soon, the aching is not so close to the surface. However, I don't know that it needs to be so soon. Who decides that?
Praying you can feel covered and embraced by Jesus today.

thewonderfulhappens said...

Oh my. That must have been soul crushing. For you and for both of them. I'm so sorry.

Pati @ A Crafty Escape said...

(((Hugs))) I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. I've been thinking about you all day since reading your blog for the first time this morning.

Jaimie said...

Their honesty is beautiful. I hope they never lose that. (And so is yours.)

my3boys said...

You've got to hand it to Tucker. That really WOULD be the "very best" surprise. Prayers for all of you are (still) coming from us...

Penny said...

Awww! Every time you post, I feel your sorrow as if for the first time. I'm sure it will get easier~ praying sooner, rather than later.
Your boys are precious!

Melinda Lillis said...

{{{{HUGS}}}}} my stomach fell with your stomach...