I planned a great afternoon for the boys. Lunch at their favorite spot, then an afternoon jumping on inflatables, followed by milkshakes. Lots of face time. Lots of fun, laughter, and us.
I put on my game face. I told myself, no sadness today. Put it behind you. Show them your joy so they can find theirs. Joy. Claim it. It's yours.
Happy Mom. Come on, Tricia. No sadness today.
I picked them up from preschool with a spring in my step, eager for our fun afternoon of rejuvenating togetherness.
I said, "Guys! I have the very best surprise for you!"
Tucker's face lit up.
"Oh, Mommy! Is my Daddy alive again?"
Oh. Oh, my. My stomach fell; my chest ached.
"No, sugar. But that would sure be a great surprise."
And suddenly, my plans for us mattered not. Because it wasn't Daddy.
I get that, my little guys.
It's hard to make it matter, when it just isn't Daddy.