I miss looking pretty.
Don't misread that... it's not a dramatic expression of self deprecation, a begging plea for affirmation. It's not.
I just miss having someone to dress up for.
A reason to get dolled up.
I loved dating Robb; we had some really fun times together. And I really liked prettying myself, giving him my presented self, doing all my best tricks to bring his admiration from across the table.
Because you can never be married too long to long for a longing look.
I recently watched an episode of Parenthood, the series which I believe to be the best drama TV has to offer. Julia and Joel were planning a date for their anniversary; with her hair up, she wore a stunning red dress.
And I realized I don't have a reason to wear a red dress.
A night out with the girls can go a long way to lift my spirits, and there's nothing like an evening adventure with a group of sisters who really want to make me laugh, lift me up, remind me that there is life, within me and without. And such a night calls for its own wardrobe selection: sassy, confident, ready to embrace a good time.
But it doesn't call for a sexy red dress.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I just want to wear the red dress.