Thursday, April 7, 2011



Born of theos and logy. God and study.

The study of God.

In my mind, I hear a booming voice resounding through the walls of a high-ceilinged cathedral, saying those words: "The study of God."

I think of heavy concordances.

I think of books, books, books, countless pages of thick language.

I think of words like Calvinist, Armenian, Postmodern, Reformed.

A language all its own. The stuff seminary is made of.

But if theology is the study of God, then isn't that all I am doing?

As I seek to make sense of this, as I start a new day and seek to find anything in it at all,

As I find hope I can't explain, as my bones ache within me, as joy comes in the morning, as I think and learn and feel,

As I process who I am, who Robb was, who we were together, who I am without him, who he is now as a new creation,

As I think about the questions my children ask, as I think about the ones I may never be able to answer,

As Tyler asks me if I can please give him a baby sister, as I tell him, no, we need a daddy for that,

As I wonder if his daddy now knows if our other two children are the sisters Tyler wishes for,

As I think about grief, healing, and how it's all depicted in an ocean of grace,

As I remember,

As I look for God in this,

Is this theology?

Studying God in today. Asking the questions.

Perhaps I am becoming a theologian,

one who studies God.


Kris Anne said...

Yes. Yes, you truly are, Tricia... a theologian of the most honest, authentic, real kind. No less than the kind who have degrees... in fact, the theology you are birthing is so much more than that. So much more. But my heart grieves that it comes with all this pain and suffering.

Mrs. MK said...

The knowledge of God that comes through this is the theology that matters. Cling to God's Word like never before!

Melissa said...

That is quite possibly the most beautifully simple explanation of theology I have ever heard.

Lauren said...

As a former seminary student and a missionary of a mainline denomination, I agree with Melissa. This is one of the most amazing definitions of theology I have heard. I think I will reference it often as a reminder in my own study. Peace & blessings, dear one.

Lauren said...
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