Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Cost of New

I bought some new furniture this week, in my pursuit of a new look, the redefinition, the beauty of new surroundings to ease the fall into the new truths.

As I was paying, I asked them to update my records with my cell phone number instead of Robb's.

I said, "Is my husband's name on the file?"

The salesman, who had referred to me as smart, beautiful, and 'a trophy', winked at me and said, "No, ma'am. Break away. Just break away."

He assumed I was separated or divorced, glad to be finished. He assumed I'm pleased to take his name off the account.

And I was too taken aback to disagree, to right the story, too weary to make him know that's not how it is.

But that is very much not how it is.

I just stared at him blankly.

He just didn't deserve the strength it would cost me to tell him the truth.

I just didn't have it. I offered him nothing.


Jan Verhoeff said...

Some events need no explanation. Not all divorces/separations are because that's what is desired. Life doesn't always give us what we want, more often, it gives us what moves our lives toward God's plan for us. I've learned to trust that He gives us what we need to lean more fully on Him.

Majorsfam said...

I LOVE getting mail from my Grandma with a return address sticker that only has my Grandpa's name on it. He went home 18 years ago, I think. I love how she handled phone calls, in the beginning, for him. I'm his wife and I can help you with whatever you need, but tell me, do you know my Sam? And if they said "yes", she'd find out who it was and explain what happened. If they said "no", she took care of the caller's need without explaining why they were dealing with his wife instead. I can't imagine how I'd handle situations like this, Tricia, but you seem to find the right balance. How heartbreaking, though, that someone thought you had divorced him..... as if you had any choice in the matter! HUGS!

txartist62 said...

obviously this person had no idea of your situation, so it's hard to call them insensitive....but this sure illustrates how you shouldn't assume things or jump to just never know what the other person has gone through or what their story really is. as i have "seen" you do in other situations (in various posts of yours), it seems you handled it just right.

Penny said...

I would have been taken aback, too. That was just rude and presumptious of him. Even if your situation had been due to divorce~ divorce is usually hard and painful, even if it's only unwanted by one party. He was being careless with words, as a lot of people are. You didn't owe him any explanation, but he probably deserves a lesson for being so tactless and assuming.

Penny said...

To Majorsfam, My Mimi was the same way. She still had her phone listed under my grandfather's name, for about 20 years after his death~ until it was disconnected when she entered a nursing home. My sister graduated from high school two months after his death and the card she received was signed, "Love Mimi and PoppaDad." I don't know if she did it out of habit or just because that was the last gift he was planning for. Either way, he was still her "other half" long after he left this earth. My other grandmother was the same way. Love that the love lived on. :)