Monday, February 14, 2011

Head in the Game

I remember a time when the boys were small. Strange to say, since they're only three and five now... but they were smaller than they are now. Perhaps three and one.

Robb and I were fixing dinner, and they were having a mutual meltdown. Tyler was in his high chair, throwing a fit. Tucker was spinning in circles around the kitchen, throwing a fit. They were hungry, and we couldn't get food going fast enough.

And in the chaos of their noise and melting, I began to throw a fit of my own. One of those, they've-pushed-me-to-my-limit-and-I-may-lose-my-mind moments. If you've been the parent of toddlers, perhaps you know that moment of 'slightly elevated' blood pressure.

Robb stopped the meal prep, looked squarely at me and said, "No, not you too. I swear, I will walk out that door right now and leave you three to dinner on your own if you start to lose it too. I need you to do this, baby girl. Think with me. I need you on my team."

I've thought often of that scene, of when he begged me to get my head in the game. And in that moment, I did. He asked me to. He asked me to step up, do my part, and help him as the other half of this parenting team.

Sometimes, first thing in the morning, I remember that scene. As a new day awaits, another day without him in it. When it's all more than I can handle: the getting dressed, the planning the day, the decisions, plans, motions, and the world happening around me.

And I think of him saying, "Please. I need you to do this, baby girl. Think with me. I need you on my team."

And I get out of bed. Because I'm the other half of this parenting team.


Melody said...

Praise God for his words that day- and that they still echo in your head today. I sure loved him.

The Kennedy Krew said...

Oh sweet friend-I am so sorry you have to do this alone! I am so thankful you have such awesome memories of your wonderful husband!! I pray God can continue to give you the strength to be all you need to be as a mom!!

The VH Family said...

I just found your blog through another blog and I sat and read through the last two months all while sobbing and praying for you. My heart ached for you yesterday on Valentine's Day. I just wanted you to know that a complete stranger is praying for you.

Mrs. MK said...

Praying for you!

Jodi said...

I love this post, Tricia. Even though it made me cry (on my lunch break at work, no less) Even though it is yet another glimpse at how hard it is to be the one still calling the shots, when Robb seems out of "the game." I wish I knew what to say to encourage you...but I don't.
But I AM on your sidelines, Tricia, and cheering wildly for you, for every victory large and small. For every time you get out of bed and get in the game. And even on days that you need to wait it out on the bench. Wildly cheering for you.

Deanna said...

Tears. Wow. Even though he's gone, he's helping to make you a better person and a better mother. What a testament to the power of love.

Terry said...

oh tricia..i don'e even know what to say..this post really touches my heart....may god bless you every morning as you face a new terry