Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Questions.

Tuck and I went on a date. McDonald's. He ordered (with coaching) and paid (with a gift card), and he carefully carried our tray to the table. A hamburger, fries, and the coveted item: a chocolate milkshake. It's really what makes it a date.

Never too early to teach a little man how to treat a lady.

"Tuck, let's chat. Let's play Questions."

"Okay, Mommy. I'm ready."

I love his little, proud smile. It's a subtle one, but moms know subtleties.

"Who do you like most in your preschool class?"

"I really like Chase and Max."

"Yeah? What do you like about them?"

"I like to play Monsters on the playground."

"Well, that sounds like fun. What's your favorite part of preschool?"

"Playing Monsters. With Chase and Max."

(I see a theme.)

"Is there anyone you don't like as much?"

"Amanda. She's too fluffy."

Fluffy.

"Well, she might not be able to change that. It's okay if you like some people less than others, but try to be patient with the things people can't change about themselves. Fluffy is hard to change."

He offered the universal nod to maternal advice on friendship. We each ate a couple of french fries.

"So, Tuck, tell me something that makes you happy."

Smile. "Transformers."

"Oh, me too, kiddo. Excellent choice. Tell me something that makes you mad."

"When Tyler takes my Transformer and says it's his."

"Fair enough. Brothers do that sometimes. That would bother me, too."

French fry. Milkshake.

"How do you feel when it snows?"

"Happy. I love snow."

"How about when it rains? How do you feel?"

"I don't like rain, but I do like a storm."

"Me, too. Thunder, lightning, all of that good stuff... Hey, Tuck, how do you feel when Mommy cries?"

"I feel sad. Because I know you miss Daddy."

"I sure do miss him. I cry sometimes because my heart is so very sad, and I wish he was here."

"But he's in heaven, Mommy."

"I know, kiddo. I love that for him. What do you think he's doing right now?"

Tuck eyed his milkshake. With a far away smile, "Maybe he's drinking a milkshake."

"He sure could be. They have the best milkshakes in heaven. I just know it."

He took a long sip of his, just for good measure.

"Tuck, does anything make you afraid?"

He thought. "When you cry."

"I thought so, kiddo. Sometimes you cry when you're sad, and I'm the same way. I just feel sad because I miss Daddy, but I'm still Mommy, and you're still safe."

"Okay."

"Do you have any questions you want to ask me?"

"Hey, Mommy?"

"Yes, buddy?"

"I think I just really want to eat my french fries."

"Fair enough, kiddo. Let's eat."

6 comments:

lovecat said...

:) What a beautiful conversation. He sounds like a great kid.
I have to tell my little girl that sometimes now. Sometimes Mommy cries, and that's ok. I think she is slowly starting to understand, but she never likes it.

I love that you are already training him in the ways of date (dessert) etiquette. Way to go!

Mellifluous said...

I definitely have conversations with both my kids that end with my kids saying "can we talk about something else now?". It doesn't mean that what we needed to talk about didn't mean anything to them; I have to remind myself of that when they are ready to move on. Love you, Tricia!

Manda said...

Tricia, you are doing things so "right". I know that's an odd thing to say, but I think it's true. I don't know that there's any laid facts to what is "right" in this situation, but it sure seems like you're building one mighty framework of strength, love, and endurance for your boys. What an amazing mom you are. Truly.

Katy said...

I love it. Thanks for the little window into a special moment.

Christine said...

Tricia, Thank you for sharing your heart. Your blog has been such an example of transparency and FAITH. Keep trusting, keep hoping. God is good, ALL of the time. I just came across this free devotional, and thought of you. Hopefully it will encourage your heart and give you strength.

http://www.raisingarrows.net/2011/02/devotional-for-the-grieving.html

Terry said...

any girl would just love to have such a date as this tricia! tuck is a dream come true! .....with love from terry