I wonder why I still sleep on my side of the bed, when I could spread out and sleep sideways if I wish.
I wonder why I have no problem sorting through the things he no longer needed, used, or wanted. But I can't seem to take his clothes from my closet. His dresser is still stocked. The things he used.
I wonder what I will do with the pictures of me on his dresser, of the 19-year-old, curly, college girl he fell in love with. There they sit.
I wonder why quiet snowfall make my eyes well with tears.
I wonder what my children will remember. About this, us, me, him.
I wonder how long they will want to snuggle with me on Saturday mornings. How long Tucker will continue to say, "Mommy, not yet. Please don't get up yet."
I wonder if Tyler will grow into the next size of clothes with a whole closet of items he refused to wear even once.
I wonder how to live in this moment. I wonder how one truly does that.