Saturday, August 9, 2008

If You Really Want to Know...

I have a short list of verbal quirks that bug me.

(I'm hesitant to post it out there for you to know about with certainty, because I'm pretty sure you'll worry about what you say around me. I don't want you to second guess your words; they're more important to me than grammatical effectiveness. But if you really want to know, these are the ones that bug me. Or at least I notice them. Forgive me. I'm a nerd.)

This is not a word. The word is supposedly.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Actually, you can. You can hold your cake in one hand and eat it with the other. What you can't do is eat your cake and have it. You can't eat your cake and then say, "Oh, I wish I had my cake." It's gone. You ate it.

I could care less.
"I'm pretty sure he's mad about that, but I could care less." Really? Because that means you care. What you mean to say is that you couldn't care less. You are at the bottom of your caring capacity. You have ceased to care. It would be impossible for you to care any less. Your cares for this matter? All gone. None left.

It sounds like in-laws is the noun. And it can be, as in, "I love my in-laws." But really, when referring to the number of wives your son has (you know, in situations of polygamy... great example, Tricia), they are your daughters-in-law. Be careful where you put that s. Very important.

A whole 'nother
"I would love to talk about that, but it raises a whole 'nother issue." Nother is not a word. A better phrase is actually "another whole." But hey, who's listening?? Oh, right. I am. I'm sorry. I wish I could turn it off in my head. I just can't.

"That picture is Robb and I's." Nothing belongs to I. If it is mine, then it belongs to me. But even still, the phrase would be "Robb's and mine." I know. Picky.

Is Is
This one is a bit of a verbal habit that one can easily fall into. "So, the thing about that is, is that you really should..." or "What we should do is, is we should go to..." You just don't need is twice. She's a pretty confident girl, able to stand on her own. Before you know it, you have a whole 'nother word in there. Oh wait.

My husband thinks I am crazy. He does not get how my mind works and why these things are fascinating to me; but to be fair, I also don't know how he can enjoy more than one televised football game in a day. (Didn't we just watch this, only the jerseys were a different color??)

The other night, I had trouble falling asleep. I told him the next morning that I had lain awake thinking about grammar rules. He said, "That is officially a sentence you will never hear me say." (But I bet he could lay awake and think about football plays.)

But I digress.

Anyway, that's how I think. That's what happens in my head when I'm not thinking about anything else. And don't worry - I won't ever correct you. But if I say it wrong, you can rest assured I will correct myself. And you can feel free to correct me, too.

I'll respect you even more for catching it.


Alli said...

What about "do do." You know: What ever you choose to do, do it quietly. Do do. Who wants to hear you say doodoo?

Tricia said...

Good one, Alli. That is on the list for sure... "If we do do that..."

Yep. No good.

Robin said...

Ooh, I love this post. Right there with you, girl. Can I add one? It's "irregardless." The word is "regardless", people. The "less" already negates the word, therefore the "ir" is not needed. I feel better now.

Tricia said...

Robin - that one is so on the list in my head, but it didn't make it to the list on the blog. GOOD ONE.

And another: really unique. To be unique means there not a singl other one that is even remotely like this one. You can't become more unique or really unique... to be unique is to stand alone already.

Yikes. I'm on a tirade.

friends and family said...

Amazing that you loved teaching kindergarten so much! Add the speech impediments (sp?) of little 5 year-olds to the equation and I am surprised you did not drive yourself crazy!

Well, a crazy kindergarten teacher is not a bad thing!:)

friends and family said...

Uh, not sure why I am now registered as "friends and family" from the previous post?!?


Kennedy Krew said...

That's hilarious!! I bet you had a ball listening to your Math teacher friend from Texas - my gracious!!

My husband's favorite is "Are you done?" He always says, "Turkeys are done, people are finished."

And, "sweatin' like a pig" - he always says, "Pigs don't sweat, that's why they roll in the mud!"

I'm sure I could add a whole bunch of white-trash sayings to the list...with a thick southern drawl!!! tee hee

Kathryn said...

Mine is "fixin' to..." as in "What are you doing?" "I'm fixin' to leave soon." That drives me nuts. My Grandma used to say "youse guys" as in "Youse guys go help clean up." That was weird. In Spain men refer to their wives as their "mujer" which literally translates to calling their wife their woman, there is a word for wife, this totally irks me. I also hate the word panties-yuck.

Janeen said...

and nobody chimed in with the one that drives me to the brink of temporary insanity - "axe a question" - aaarrrggghhh!!